Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.”
What does it mean to be friends with myself? It means looking out for my psyche, controlling negative thinking that leaves me frustrated and feeling lonely. It means being kind to myself, like I was today with the long walk with the dogs, the stroll by the lake, the time petting the horse, the visit with our neighbor. It means doing projects that make me feel like I’m contributing to something. It means realigning my thinking so that I look forward to each day rather than dreading it. It means reminding myself of the things that bring me pleasure, like sitting here in a comfortable chair with my feet up, watching the light fade from the sky, surrounded by the glow of lamplight, a glass of port, a cup of licorice tea. It means hearing my husband downstairs cooking dinner, knowing he’s always there for me, knowing I am not alone.
Being friends with ourselves means making our own self smile when we do not feel like it, reminding ourselves not to take life too seriously, remembering that something new may wait around the bend, knowing that our present situation does not define us unless we want it to, unless we let it, understanding that the present is combined of multiple parts — focus on those that make us happy and accept or change those that do not. We are in charge of our present, and in large degree our future. We cannot change the past, so there is no reason dwelling on actions we regret, situations we should have handled differently, choices we wish we had or had not made.
Being friends with ourselves means putting forth the effort to take care of ourselves, to face adversity with an attitude of growth and perseverance, to be grateful for all that we have, for all that we are, for all we can become.
Krista S. Schumacher 