Harnessing the wisdom of other writers
One of my favorite things about Medium is the inspiration I find to keep writing no matter how stuck I feel. These three articles prompted me to consider what my writing self looks like and whether I’m on track to get there.
Moving Beyond Inferiority
Why You’re Attached to Being an Inferior Version of Yourself
Brianna Wiest maintains most of us are short-changing ourselves by placing our validation in the hands of others. So what’s to be done? If we’re to push ourselves beyond the self we’ve settled for, we have to rewrite our story.
“Every day of your life, you must wake up and completely embody the person you want to be. That is the only way you will become them.”
It is a “process of self-validation,” Wiest writes, that helps us break down “the tension, the resistance, the unhappiness.” Like the resistance I feel with finishing my memoir, the tension of reliving painful times until it’s finished.
Who is the person I want to be? Since being a writer is part of my identity, then being the kind of person I want to be means being the kind of writer I want to be, which is one who puts herself out there and isn’t afraid of what people might think, who doesn’t run from the possibility of criticism and rejection.
I want to be the kind of writer who doesn’t doubt every word, who doesn’t succumb to her inner critic, to its incessant question of what I could possibly have to offer. This is the kind of person who’s confident in her thoughts and opinions, who believes she’s worthy of contributing to the larger story of humanity.
Finishing What I Start
How to Become a Person Who Finishes What You Start
It’s a miracle I ever finished a dissertation. I wouldn’t have without my advisor urging me along but not without pointing out my biggest challenge: “You have a lot of good ideas, just no follow-through.”
In her piece on the importance of finishing what we start, Shaunta Grimes reminds us that successful people are finishers. Among the tips she shares for becoming a finisher —
“Muzzle your inner editor.”
Grimes has named her inner editor, which I imagine gives her some control over it. Mine has no name but takes the form of a monster lurking over my bed. No physical appearance beyond a shadow on the walls, on the ceiling, hovering over my face. Something out of the movie The Babadook. Perhaps I need to name it.
Killing My Perfectionism
Finishing what I start means returning to my memoir, which means doing the work required to see it through to the end. Joe Pregadio reminds us how the quest for perfection can lead to paralysis, to doing nothing. My inner critic, my Babadook, is mired in perfection. It’s drilled into my brain, growing up with a mother who cleaned obsessively, running the vacuum at midnight because we’d left footprints on the carpet.
My quest for perfection is an excuse like the false narrative of myself I’ve created. In that story, I’m not good enough to “make it” as a writer, although I haven’t considered what making it as a writer means to me.
Shaping My Course
In response to my piece about struggling with “writer’s block,” Christina Ward 🍁🌲 encouraged me to submit to the process of writing. Not writing isn’t an option for me, but to fully release the tension and submit to the process, I have to rewrite my narrative.
It’s time to be a higher version of my writing self, one strong enough to defeat my Babadook — the Boogie Man standing over me — and his sidekick, Perfection. It’s time to be the version brave enough to finish what I start no matter how painful. And bold enough to share it with the world.
Originally published in Indelible Ink on Medium on October 23, 2019.
Krista S. Schumacher 